Last week on Pour Your Heart Out, I shared with you my unplanned launch into the Sandwich Generation. If you need to catch up with that, you can find it here. Today, I will continue the story.
After my sweet dad passed away, I spent the remainder of the summer soaking up my family. Every weekend, we packed up food, toys, towels and magazines and enjoyed the day in Malibu while I tried to adjust to a life without my dad.
Slowly we got back into the swing of “normal life” again and I picked up where I left off with the activities with my children. My mom lived in our guesthouse and was a regular at the local senior center where she took aerobics, tai chi, enjoyed her weekly lunches and gabbed with the girls in a knitting circle.
I cannot say that I was completely disconnected from the Sandwich life at this time because my mother gave up her driving privilege due to cataracts. I took her with me to the grocery store and we also engaged in a weekly shopping and lunch extravaganza.
On one of our lunches out, I noticed that mom was taking a long time to finish her meal. Eventually, I asked if everything was okay and she said her mouth was sore and probably needed some adjustment to her dentures. I followed up with the issue by taking her to the dentist and after several weeks, there was no improvement so tests and x-rays were ordered.
We received the results of all of her tests the week between Christmas and New Years and the verdict was throat cancer! I honestly could not believe my ears. I already did this scene once with my father and it did not end well. I guess I should have been thankful that I already had the experience because honestly, the doctor’s explanation and instructions were all a blur. To say that there was an ironic twist here was an overstatement because both of my parents were:
- diagnosed during the holidays
- treated at the same medical center
- had concurrent chemotherapy and radiation
- received radiation in the very same room
It was all too much to bear.
Without going into long medical details, the treatment requires a feeding tube insertion because the throat becomes so raw that eating by mouth is impossible. Normally, a couple of months after the treatment the tube is removed and life goes on.
Mom went through her treatment and Hubby and I traded off feeding her via the tube multiple times a day. Thankfully, she had victory over the cancer but what we anticipated to be a short couple of months of artificial nutrition extended to over three years. Last October, mom had several complications with the tube and is now in a long-term care facility.
I love my mother. I am thankful that Hubby and I were able to help her when she needed it. With that said, my heart is constantly broken about the time I lost with my children. Being so overwhelmed, I know I was not always mentally present. My patience was nonexistent and my desire to love and support my kids at all costs was in jeopardy.
What I do not want with these posts about my folks is an all access pass to the “Paula Pity Party”. I am sharing this story because I desperately want all of you to understand that circumstances can change in an instant.
I want to thank you for letting me share my story with you and also a big thank you to Shell for providing a forum for bloggers to pour their hearts out!
xoxo Paula
